Double Deutsch
Easy. Take the joke test. If you get it, it could be you. If you don’t get it, you have no sense of humour. So it could still be you.
A German man walks into a bar and says to the barman: “Two gin and tonics please.” “Dry sir? says the barman. “Nein. Zwei!” says the German.
Planted threats
The daft road signs keep on coming and Dumfries is emerging as an epicentre of daftness.
Ronnie Buchanan from Larkhall was driving in the town when he saw a sign pointing the way to a local tourist attraction.
It read: “Butterflies. Carnivorous Plants.” A 100yards later, the sign was repeated but this time the word “Butterflies” had been heavily scored out.
And Alasdair Ireland was taken aback when he was driving near Lochmaben and came across a home-made sign. “Your Satnav is wrong,” it said, “This is not the road to Dumfries. Turn Round!”
Road to rivalry
On the same subject, we suggested yesterday that it was only a matter of time before there was a sign over the motorway on the way into Edinburgh that read “You’ll have had your tea”.
One Edinburgher took offence to this. “How dare you,” he said, “and by the way, I take it you’ve had your tea?”
He then went on to suggest some words for the gantry sign for the M8 into Glasgow: “What you looking at?”
No Holiday
There’s nothing like Scottish hospitality. No really, there’s nothing like it.
Donald Grant from Paisley was down in Lockerbie last weekend for a cousin’s wedding and on arrival at the hotel, found a number of things that were not to his liking. He went to reception and made his complaints known to the manager who said that he would attend to them immediately.
As a parting shot, Donald said the faults were not the kind of thing he expected from a four-star Holiday Inn.
“Absolutely not sir,” said the manager. “This is a Best Western.”
Raising the woof
This week’s subject of songs our grannies sang prompted Heather Mackintosh from Glasgow to tell us about her gran who’d been trying to phone her while she was out. “I tried to phone you a few times today,” said her gran, “but I knew you were out because I couldn’t hear the dog barking.
A Man Walks Into A Bar - News
16 2011 at 3:00 PM An underage guy walks into a bar. He somehow gets his hands on a bottle of vodka and takes a few swills. Eventually, he gets a little tipsy. In an uncontrolled moment of gesticulation, he swings his arm around wildly and knocks
A German man walks into a bar and says to the barman: “Two gin and tonics please.” “Dry sir? says the barman. “Nein. Zwei!” says the German. The daft road signs keep on coming and Dumfries is emerging as an epicentre of daftness.
A man walks into a bar. Ouch! Just kidding. A man walked into a bar. He idly scoped out a handsome youth leaning against the wall (Jorge Rodolfo De Hoyos Jr.) and began to sing: “I could use that, if the family jewels weren't pawned to uncle junk…
When he'd tell a gag it wasn't just ''a man walks into a bar …'' It was ''a man, and let's call him Stephen Cooper …'' It wasn't always Stiffy because Ferguson, a serial victim, would roster in the names of others who had made his life a misery at
What if some guy walks into a bar, sits down next to a woman, sticks his phone in her face, and says- "Hey baby, want to see my sausage and meatballs?" Would anyone consider that normal? Maybe. If the woman laughed at him.
This guy walks into a bar...
You guys asked and we listened. We now have comedy content in SBTV! Under the Entertainment channel, you can now find stand-up excerpts and great one-liners from some of the funniest people in comedy. Earn Swag Bucks as you sit back, relax, and laugh, and learn some hysterical jokes that you impress your friends with.
Here’s one of my favorite jokes that I learned from the new comedy content. This one comes from comedian Joe O’Connell:
What do you call a grizzly bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Buh-dum-ching!
After you’ve finished laughing, go check out the new comedy content under the Entertainment channel of SBTV . You’re in for a treat!
And to make your day just that much better, there’s a 7SB code in the description of this video until 2pm PDT! Enjoy!
(Note: You must watch the video in its entirety and wait a few seconds afterwards before the code will show up.)
http://player.swagbucks.com/free_videos/comedy_time/tyler_boeh_dancing_tissue/461/102344/?
Hehe RT "So, a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore"
RT : "So, a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore"
RT : rt "So, a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore"
RT "So, a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore"
RT : rt "So, a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore"A Man Walks Into A Bar - Bookshelf
A guy walks into a bar--, 501 bar jokes, stories, anecdotes, quips, quotes, riddles, and wisecracks
Michael Lewis has gathered a wide range of the very best and funniest bar jokes, riddles, anecdotes, and quotations in this rib-tickling (and thirst-inducing) ...Man walks into a bar, the ultimate collection of jokes and one-liners
The Best A Man Walks Into a Bar . . . Jokes
"You're Bard!" Everyone has their own favorite man-walks-into-a-bar joke. This is a collection of more than 200 of the best--or should that be worst?Man Walks Into a Bar 3, The Ultimate Collection of Jokes and One-Liners
A Guy Goes Into A Bar, A Joe King Book
Filled with some old ones, some new ones, and even some blue ones, A Guy Goes into a Bar . . . and A Minister, a Priest, and a Rabbi . . . will have you ...Everyday Note Directory
Jokes Explained - A Man Walks Into A Bar...
The phrase "A man walks into a bar" performs a similar function, alerting the audience that what follows is likely to be a short story with a humourous climax. ...
JPN: Fun: man walks into a bar
A man walks into a bar: the best of this type of joke, including non-man walking versions.
A Man Walks into a Bar
Everyone loves to groan at "Man Walks into a Bar" jokes but then they will insist on telling you one they know! Whenever it was my turn to
Guy Walks Into A Bar... - Miss Cellania -
A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before problems start! ... A man goes into a bar with a giraffe, they both get a couple of rounds in. ...
Funny2 - A Guy Goes Into A Bar
A guy walks into a bar with a piano entertainer, sits down and orders a beer. ... A drunk walks out of a bar and sees a nun standing at a bus stop. ...